The Cold War of the Modern Day Cowboy

     The dynamic 1980’s hit “Modern Day Cowboy” by Tesla was a captivating and inspirational melody considered by many to be one of the top ten songs of the decade. Their song is still a pleasure to the ear, concocted with many deep, powerful, and enriching poetic devices. At the start of the song the similes “Cold as ice” and “Hard as stone” compares the facial complexion and presence of the cowboy as he enters town. This first analogy builds on the mood first cast by the initial setting being dark and stormy as “the thunder rolled” across the jet black skies. The mood is furthered into anger and hate as the song progresses as the cowboy walks into the room, proceeded by “another man who was bitter the same way.” The onomatopoeia bang bang is used to emphasis the atmosphere, as the cowboy featured “shoot’s ‘em up” in the no man’s land of the cowboy of the modern day. A metaphor is made comparing the USA and the USSR as two cowboys and with “their six guns to their sides” personifies this analogy. There are also several allusions made to the Cold War. “So here we are and we’ve come this far, but it’s only getting worse” is the first allusion to the Cold War as this song was written at the height of the war in 1986. This describes how the war has yet to yield bloodshed despite spanning over the last forty years, and was only then reaching its climax. The Berlin Wall was the symbolic barrier that separated the communist East and the Western world and the allusion is made to the famous artwork painted, in seeing “the message written on the wall.” The six guns at the sides of the cowboys symbolizes and alludes to the military might, power and precision that the nations’ wield and how they were readied for war, just as a loaded guns is. The sensational tune from the 1980’s that captured the essence of the drama and intensity of the Cold War was flavour-fully written with intriguing poetic devices.   

Stormy night under jet black skies, Billy pulls into town
The thunder rolled and the lightning bolts come crashin' to the ground
Cold as ice, hard as stone, as he walks into the room
With another man who was feeling the same way, all hell's breakin' loose
Bang bang, shoot 'em up, bang bang, blow you away
[Chorus:]
It's a showdown in the no man's land, for the cowboy of the modern day
Come sundown, don't be hangin' round, 'cos the cowboy'll blow you away
Al Capone and the Bad Boy Jones, on the wrong side of the law
Johnny D and his company, always first to the draw,
Gangster lean, feelin' so mean, try to take more than their share
'Cos all they saw was ruling it all, the scent of blood was in the air
[Chorus]
[Solo]
So here we are and we've come this far, but it's only getting worse
Foreign lands with their terrorist demands, only cause the good to hurt
The U.S.A., the U.S.S.R., with their six-guns to their side
I see the message, written on the wall, too much anger deep inside
Bang bang, shoot 'em up, bang bang, blow you away
[Chorus]
It's a showdown!

Revenge Walks the Dim Light.

     The room fell immediately silent except for the clink of a glass being set down on a heavy wooden table. Like a shadow, the man who walked through the entrance, loomed across the room. His curly beard framed his wild, billowing hair that spilled out from under his travel worn hat.With the poorly lit room, his eyes were forced to squint, giving them a sharpness that pierced the room's awkward silence like a broad headed arrow. He was clad in a heavy leather jacket with the crisply folded collar jutting out. His hands, forged of steel, tensed at his sides. A wide glossy black belt crossed his waist, with a heavy square silver belt buckle that gleamed and sparkled even in the dim and gloomy light. His rough tanned face was unmarred, yet stained with a look of having seen far too much for his age. The eyes of the men sitting at the saloon's tables and benches darted like wild animals trying to escape his hawk eyed gaze. Heavy thumps of leather boots on rough floorboards echoed as he crossed the room. He stopped to pick up a glass of whiskey from a table, belonging to a visably shaken looking old man. With one swift swig, the glass was emptied. The clank of the glass being set down on the table was once again the only noise to break the silence. His thumb teased the brass hilt of his six-shooter.

My Life Altering Altercations

Being a creative, talented and insightful person, many of my works have become worldly recognized and cherished. It is I after all, who always wins the annual Alaskan Ice Sculpting Competition. I was accepted to the University of Paris. Also working for museums around the world, I devote my time to sculpt a variety of historical recreations. On Wednesday’s I devote my time to teaching Beethoven, Shakespeare, and other well known literature to children in underdeveloped nations. I like to listen to ACDC. On Tuesday’s I help many immigrants from Russia learn our culture, as I speak French in Russian.

     Fascinating to women is my devilish talent of being able to eyeball the torque of a lug nut. I am capable of changing a tire. Through my mechanical and engineering genius I have carefully redesigned many of the cars for Ferrari, for without me they would be hopeless. On Thursday’s I attend rugby practices. I lit my back pack on fire while playing with a Zippo lighter. I trained the Navy Seals instead of the Marines, because they, the Marines, complained too much. I can reach the bowls in the top cupboards, travel across the country without a road map, and diffuse bombs for the bomb squad. I am the one who got rid of the mullet.

     I can cook an entire Thanksgiving dinner in about an hour, using nothing more than a barbeque lighter. I taught Einstein how to remember his formulas, Henry Ford the assembly line, and Shakespeare how to rhyme. I am an abide woodcarver, and rhinoceros dentist. I drive a Ford Ranger.  On Monday’s after school to relax, I break ice cubes with a ball peen hammer, and break walnuts between my knuckles. I can balance a pop can on the end of a broom handle. I can ask the awkward questions. I can always predict who is going to win this season’s Super Bowl at the start of every season. I don’t have an X-box. When I’m bored, usually on Saturday’s, I build full sized replica medieval castles out of sugar cubes in my back yard.

     I enjoy painting ceilings, turning cars into transformers, and playing hide and seek with terrorists in the Middle East, even though I always loose because I can never find them. I like to read auto trader magazines. On Friday’s I hold jousting tournaments using brooms and wearing hockey gear, while riding on dirt bikes. I can’t skate very well, but I can make ice sculptures out of frozen potatoes. I can talk in a funny German accent. I have sung opera performances in the Whitehouse, made speeches from the top of the Pyramids of Giza, and tobogganed down from the top of Mt. Everest. They named Doritos Sweet Chili Heat after me. I make model airplanes, and I’ve worked as a hydro-ceramics technician. I’ve taught the Vancouver Canucks how to golf, and given relationship advice to Tiger Woods on Sunday's.  

The one thing I have yet to accomplish in my longevities is to attend a post secondary institution.